


I Love You Less Than Three

by cerealuna



Category: Cravity
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, Sad Ending, bestfriends, ends with angst, idk how to tag, maybe just a little, starts with fluff, very angsty i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:14:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24107323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cerealuna/pseuds/cerealuna
Summary: You only know you love him when you let him go.
Relationships: Park Serim/Allen Ma, serim/allen
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34





	I Love You Less Than Three

**Author's Note:**

> The title was originally 'I surrender' but Allen's less than 3 came up hsdfhsha

**2005**

Allen’s parents have moved to Korea since he was 2 due to their work and as soon as he entered kindergarten no one wants to be friends with him because he’s not Korean. So, it’s pretty much normal to see him playing all alone. 

One day another kid named Park Serim transferred to his kindergarten because they moved in to the same district as him.

It was a free time they were allowed to play outside and of course Allen is playing alone in the sandbox.

“Hey can I play with you?”, Allen just looked up to Serim and stared at him blankly, then Serim continued, “Why are you always alone? Don’t you have friends?”, Allen just shook his heads and continued playing with the sands, “Then I will be your friend!! I’m Serim!!”, Allen just nodded, “im allen”

**2015**

“Hey leonie can you believe it we’re friends for 10 years now?”, thinking about it makes Allen feels thankful for Serim who approached him first, “yeah times flies so fast I was such a loner that time thank you for approaching me first Selm”, Allen smiled at Serim and suddenly felt his heart fluttered when Serim smiled back at him.

Allen doesn’t know why but his feelings for Serim can’t be explained? He doesn’t know why Serim makes his heart feels full? It makes Allen to look forward to every hangout he has with Serim but at the same time it makes Allen confused, what is this mixed emotion he’s feeling for Serim?

**2016**

Allen was in his room reading some webtoons on his phone while waiting for Serim and then suddenly Serim barged in without knocking the door looking like he just got chased by dogs “LEONIE!!!”, Allen’s phone fell off to his face, “FUCK SELM YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK!! GOD WHAT IS IT?!?!”

“I ASKED EUNSEO OUT!!” _oh._

Allen is confused, “You what?” _why am I not glad?_

“You know Eunseo right? I actually have a crush on her since last year so I asked her out today and guess what she said???” _I hope she said no._

“SHE SAID YESS!! LEONIE I’M SO HAPPY!!!”, he runs to Allen and hug him tightly.

_Why do I feel hurt?_ “SELM IM HAPPY FOR YOU!!!”, Serim pulled out from the hug,

“Why are you crying?” _I’m hurt._

Allen wipes his tears and forced out a smile, “Oh my god this is embarrassing I’m just too happy for you Selm it’s about time for you to get a gf!! I’m getting tired of hanging out with you”

Serim cupped his cheeks and chuckles, “You’re too cute why are you crying for me?” then he hugged Allen again, “but I’m not tired of you so you’re stuck with me bestfriend”.

_I like you Selm, I didn’t know but you just confirmed it._

**2017**

“I’m going to the library, do you want to join?” _ah it’s been so long since we last hang out._

“Sure, I need to find books for my research anyways”

-

“Ah you guys are here” _I’m such a fool_

He sat infront of Eunseo and Serim, “Ah I didn’t know you were here eunseo, if I knew I wouldn’t join in and be a bother”, Allen said while scratching the back of his head. _I hate this._

Serim butted in, “You’re not a bother leonie and its been so long since we last hangout I just missed you” _I missed you too._

“Yeah Allen, Selm knew you wouldn’t come if he mentioned me being here too, so I told him not to tell you hehe” _selm? I gave him that nickname._

Serim went to get some books for research, “You two have a conversation and get closer okay? Both of you are important to me.”

-

“Aren’t you leaving?” Allen looked up to Eunseo with a confused expression, “You see I really don’t like you, you’re all he’s talking about, leonie this leonie that, im sick of it. And you being here is just like crashing into our date, I’m seriously annoyed.” _This is why I hate it._

Allen packs up his things, “Ah yeah I was about to leave sorry” _why am I sorry._ “Just tell Selm I have urgent matters to do”, Eunseo rolled her eyes and groaned, “Just leave I know what to say to him, just go”

-

Allen is in a bus sitting in the very back seat near the window, he plugged in his earpiece and music starts to play,

_Ah perfect timing it’s raining, great… just great..._

**_(listening to Stay by CRAVITY)_ **

_I feel scared, as if I’m walking along in an unfamiliar road_

_Wandering around, lost in a mess_

_Cause you’re everything I need, you are everything I need_

_It’s different to yesterday, what I was used to_

_My lips have become dry again, I don’t even know who I am_

_I only fill up with a long sigh, no why_

_I’m the only one wandering in this strange place, trapped inside a bubble of fear_

_Don’t lose me after wandering off, no no_

_You are everything I need, cause you’re everything I need_

_I’m blind in this unusual season, my mind can barely see an inch in front_

_My anxiety that I’ve been trying to hide, chiil out, I’m afraid without adapting_

_The boundary of reality has driven into me, I’m feeling dizzy all over_

_You are everything I need, cause you’re everything I need…_

Allen can’t help it but to cry, he’s knocking his head on the window, his heart felt heavy, he hates these feelings, why does it have to be like this? Why is he the only one suffering? This is too painful for him.

_Why does it have to be you Selm? Why do I like you this much?_

“…Selm, I love you” _I love you Selm I love you…_

His phone rings, he looks at the caller id, ‘Selmjjang’, _I can’t do this Selm,_ he turned off his phone.

-

“Eun ah where’s leonie?” Serim asked when saw that Allen is not there, Eunseo groaned in her head then smiled, “oh he said he has some urgent matters to do, then he left, idk what though he didn’t tell”

“Ah really? Let me call him… his phone is turned off, I’m worried… how urgent is it…”

Eunseo literally rolled her eyes when Selm is not looking, “Hey, don’t worry about him okay? He’ll be fine, he’s not a little kid”

“You don’t know him Eun ah” _ah it’s raining… I hope you’re okay leon ah_

-

When Allen reached his apartment the rain starts pouring heavily, he quickly went inside his room and went to his bed covering himself under the blanket.

He covered his ears, his heart beat is getting faster and faster, he clenched his eyes closed. **_BOOM_**

Allen cried out hating the sound the thunder, his body is trembling, _Selm… Selm I need you… Selm_

Allen cried even harder knowing no one is there..

-

Serim panicked the moment he hears the sound of thunder, “Sorry Eun ah I have to go, Leonie has Astraphobia he must be alone right now I need to go,,” Eunseo grab his arm preventing him from leaving, “Just ask his friends to check on him, we haven’t finished our assigments Selm I need to finish it by today”, Serim let go of Eunseo’s hand,

He stared at her cupping her cheeks, “He only have me” he kissed her forehead, “I love you, I have to go okay?”, Eunseo pout and nodded.

-

_Please be okay please be okay please be okay, I’m coming for you please wait a little more…_

Serim hurriedly punch in Allen’s passcode and went inside then straight to his room,

He wanted to cry at the sight of Allen’s puffy face, he was asleep, _how long did you cry? I’m sorry I’m late but I’m here now,_ he removed Allen’s bangs that’s covering his face, “I’m sorry…”

“Selm…” Allen sit up and hug Serim tightly and starts to cry again, “Selm I was so scared I thought you weren’t coming”, Serim caressed his hair saying it’s fine now that he’s here that he doesn’t have to worry about it anymore.

_Selm I love you_

**2018**

Whatever had happened with Eunseo and Allen in the past has been cleared when Eunseo personally apologized for her rude behavior, that she didn’t knew how important Allen is to Serim and their back story, and basically the three of them is close now and they hung out a lot.

Allen started to grew fond of Eunseo, she’s not that bad. Allen liked her for Serim, she’s really is compatible with Serim.

But that doesn’t mean his feelings for Serim has faded.

Indeed Allen still loves Serim.

-

“Leon ah I’m so jealous of you” Eunseo pouted, “You have been bestfriends with Serim for 13 years, how I wish to spend 13 years with him too” _I’m more jealous of you who get loved by him_

“Eun take that back!! He was a total nerd back then” Allen joked and they both laugh

“Do you have pictures?? I want to seeee” then Serim protest shaking his head, “NOOO don’t show herr!! god it’s embarrassing eun ah you will break up with me if you dated me back then” Allen and Eunseo laugh again, then Serim smiled fondly at the sight of his lovers and bestfriend getting along teasing him.

“I’d never imagine both of you to get along so well, I’m getting emotional” Serim fake crying and wiped his eyes as if there’s tears then both of them rolled their eyes at him _how dramatic._

Then Allen remembered something, “hey Eun, what does less than 3 means?”, Eunseo tilt her head, “less than 3??”

“Your facebook update! You posted ‘Park Serim <3’ (less than 3)”

Both Serim and Eunseo laugh at his innocence, Allen whines, “Why are you guys laughing when I’m asking seriously??”

“Leon ah you’re so cute!! It’s a heart!!” Eunseo exclaimed, “Who’s the nerd now huh?” Serim teased him. Then the three of them laugh unisonly.

_This is enough, Selm being happy is enough for me. I’m glad Eunseo came to his life. Eunseo thank you._

**2019**

_It’s odd, no matter how much I tried I can’t make my feelings for Selm fade._ _It’s been 4 years._

_I’m too afraid, I’ve been making a lot of excuses to avoid Selm and Eun hangout offer, I even changed my door lock passcode. This is just wrong, the more I spent my time with them the more I’m attached to Selm and I can’t do this, this is wrong, I can’t do this to Eun. What should I do?_

**2020**

Eunseo and Serim lived together now.

They were watching Netflix in the living room, eun leaned her head to Serim, “I wonder how’s Leonie doing…”

“Eun ah…”

“Why did he leave without telling us? I missed him Selm”

“He actually left me a message before he left but when I replied it says the number is not available…”

Eunseo sit up and asked, “Really?! Why didn’t you tell me??? What did he send you?”

“I love you less than three”

END

**Author's Note:**

> It's my first time writimg a fic so please bare with me if there's a mistake hshs, but I hope you enjoyed it ^^ and if you have twitter you can follow me there!: @CRVT0426


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